[Hook & Introduction]
Fellas — I need to talk to you about something today that nobody in our circles wants to say out loud.
Not because it's embarrassing. But because the data is stark, it's real, and it directly affects the young men we're raising and mentoring.
We're in the middle of what researchers are now calling a SEX RECESSION.
And before anybody rolls their eyes — this isn't a Reddit theory. This isn't podcast bro talk.
This is in the federal health data. This is the CDC. This is the General Social Survey. This is the Institute for Family Studies.
The numbers are jaw-dropping.
Ten percent of men aged 22 to 34 — men in their prime — have NEVER had sex.
That number has nearly TRIPLED in a decade.
A decade ago it was around 4%. Now it's 10% and climbing.
And 25% of men in that same age group — one in FOUR — haven't had a sexual partner in over a year.
This is not a fringe thing anymore. This is a population-level shift.
[Why It Matters]
Here's the stat that should wake everybody up:
According to the Institute for Family Studies, which analyzed 2024 General Social Survey data —
Weekly sexual activity among U.S. adults aged 18 to 64 COLLAPSED.
From 55% in 1990…
To 37% in 2024.
That's an EIGHTEEN POINT DROP over three decades.
And it's not just about sex. It never was.
Regular sex is one of the strongest indicators we have of connection, partnership, intimacy, and mental health.
We're watching an entire generation of young men become socially isolated — not just romantically.
Between 2010 and 2019, the average time young adults spent with friends dropped by nearly FIFTY PERCENT.
From 12.8 hours per week to just 6.5 hours.
By 2024? Down to just over 5 hours a week.
Men aren't just having less sex. They're spending less time with other human beings. Period.
And here's the thing about those young men — many of them are in YOUR life.
Your son. Your nephew. Your mentee. The young guy at your gym.
This isn't abstract. This is personal.
[5 Conversation Starters]
Here are five things worth bringing up with the men in your circle:
1. The Institute for Family Studies found that the share of young adults ages 18–29 living with a partner — married OR unmarried — fell from 42% to 32% between 2014 and 2024. That's a 10-point drop in a single decade. Less partnering means less consistent sex. The data is that direct.
2. The General Social Survey shows sexlessness among young adults — meaning no sex at all in the last year — doubled from 12% to 24% between 2010 and 2024. IFS researchers call this a "hockey-stick" shape that mirrors exactly what Jonathan Haidt documented in The Anxious Generation. The smartphone revolution and the sex recession hit the same inflection point.
3. A 2022 survey by the Kinsey Institute and Lovehoney found that one in FOUR Gen Z members reported they had not yet engaged in partnered sex. And the gender split is striking — one-third of Gen Z men reported no partnered sex, compared to one in five women. The gap is widening.
4. According to Scott Galloway, NYU professor and author of Notes on Being a Man — 45% of men ages 18 to 25 have NEVER asked a woman out in person. Never. Not once. Apps have replaced in-person approach — and for many young men, the apps aren't working either. In the UK alone, 1.4 million people left dating apps in 2023–24 — a 16% decline, according to the Mentor Research Institute.
5. The economics are doing real damage here too. Galloway points out that 75% of women say economic viability matters in a mate. Meanwhile, the average person under 40 is 24% LESS wealthy than their counterpart was 40 years ago — while the average 70-year-old is 72% WEALTHIER. Housing is unaffordable. Real wages are stagnant. Young men aren't just struggling emotionally. They're struggling structurally.
[Context & Key Insights]
Let me give you the full picture here, because this story is more complex than the headlines make it sound.
The sex recession isn't one thing. It's FIVE things converging at the same time.
FIRST — the smartphone and social media revolution.
Grant Bailey and Brad Wilcox at the Institute for Family Studies make this connection explicitly.
The period from 2010 to 2015 — what Haidt calls the "Great Rewiring" — is EXACTLY when the decline in young adult socialization took off.
Kids stopped socializing in person. They socialized through screens. And screens don't build the social skills you need to form intimate relationships.
SECOND — the dating app trap.
Here's the dark irony: apps were supposed to make meeting people EASIER.
But the Mentor Research Institute found that heterosexual men in the U.S. and England are experiencing what researchers call a "bleak hellscape" of ignored messages, ghosting, and emotional burnout.
Men report far fewer matches than women on these platforms. Repeated rejection erodes confidence. And when men feel they MUST use apps to date — and the apps keep failing them — many just stop trying entirely.
THIRD — economic headwinds.
Young men today face housing costs, student debt, and a labor market that's hollowed out the traditional paths into the middle class.
Scott Galloway puts it bluntly: we've transferred wealth from young to old through tax and fiscal policy, and we've made it nearly IMPOSSIBLE for young men without degrees to build the economic foundation that historically attracted partners.
FOURTH — the collapse of in-person social infrastructure.
Parties. Church. Community sports. The local bar. The neighborhood. These were the traditional settings where young people MET each other.
That whole ecosystem has been quietly dismantling for 20 years.
And FIFTH — male social isolation is becoming structural.
Galloway again: 15% of young men now report ZERO close friends. That's five times higher than it was in the 1990s.
20% of men ages 25 to 34 are living with their parents, up from 14% a decade ago.
These young men are not villains. They're not losers. They are the products of systems — tech, economic, social — that were never designed with their flourishing in mind.
[Practical Takeaway]
So what do we actually DO with this?
Because this audience — THIS audience — is exactly who can make a difference here.
You're fathers. You're mentors. You're coaches. You're brothers and uncles and older friends.
The Institute for Family Studies data makes one thing crystal clear: married adults have markedly more sex than unmarried adults — 46% of married adults have weekly sex vs. 34% for unmarried.
The pathway out of the sex recession isn't an app upgrade. It's RELATIONSHIP investment.
Here's what the research points to:
ONE — be the male role model that stays. Galloway is direct about this: the moment a boy loses a male role model, his trajectory changes dramatically. Show up. Stay in the game.
TWO — teach in-person social skills. 45% of young men have NEVER asked someone out face to face. That's not confidence. That's a skill that was never modeled or practiced. We can change that.
THREE — create real social settings. Invite the young men in your life into real physical spaces — your home, your team, your faith community, your pickup game. Not Discord. Not a group chat. A room with real people.
FOUR — talk about this without shame. The young men struggling with loneliness and isolation often feel they can't speak about it — because, as researchers note, society tells men to suffer in silence. Break that norm. Ask directly how they're doing.
FIVE — take the economic conversation seriously. Fight for housing policies, wage policies, and economic conditions that give young men a real on-ramp into adult life. Because you can't build intimacy on a foundation of financial hopelessness.
[Audience Reflection]
Here's what I want you to sit with today:
Think about the young men in your life — ages 18 to 34.
How many of them are genuinely thriving socially?
How many have you actually checked in on — not "hey man how's work" — but REALLY checked in on?
Because here's the thing about the data:
The sex recession is a symptom of a DEEPER recession.
A recession in real human connection. In mentorship. In men investing in men.
The CDC and the Institute for Family Studies are telling us that something is structurally wrong.
The question is — are the men in our generation willing to be the answer?
[Community Engagement]
I want to hear from you in the comments:
Is there a young man in your life who you KNOW is struggling socially — but you haven't said anything yet?
What's holding you back?
Drop it below. Let's have this conversation openly, because clearly — not enough people are having it.
And if this hit you today, share it with a father, a mentor, a coach who needs to hear it.
This is exactly the kind of real talk that makes this community worth showing up to every morning.
[Empowering Close]
Look — the sex recession data is uncomfortable to sit with.
But I believe in this audience's ability to look at hard data and ask the right questions.
Not "what's wrong with young men today."
But "what are WE not doing — as fathers, mentors, and community leaders — to build the conditions where young men can actually THRIVE?"
The Institute for Family Studies and the CDC didn't publish this data to shame anybody.
They published it because healthy, connected, partnered people — people with real relationships — are healthier, happier, and more productive in EVERY dimension of life.
We're not just talking about sex. We're talking about the baseline of human flourishing.
And if this generation of mentors and fathers rises to meet these young men where they are?
The data can turn around.
It starts with US. Right here. Right now.
Let's get to work.
[Keyword Integration]
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