[Hook & Introduction]
Alright fellas — imagine you're riding the subway in New York City last year…
You look up at an ad above the seat across from you.
And it says: "Introducing dating based on bids, not bios."
"Uncover your authentic dating market value."
That was a REAL advertisement. On a real subway train. For a real app called Bidsy.
And according to the New York Times, it made at least one comedian feel like he was looking at a human auction.
But here's the thing — Bidsy was just the tip of the iceberg.
Because we are now living in what some people are calling the Sexual Market Value economy.
A world where men are paying $25,000 BOUNTIES to strangers on the internet to find them a wife.
Where influencers strip teenagers on live streams to rate their dating market value out of 10.
Where a man considered spending $150,000 on surgery just to add four inches of height — to improve his SCORE.
And where a growing number of guys are treating romance the same way a day-trader treats the stock market.
This story is wild. But it's also real. And it tells us something important about where we are right now.
[Why It Matters]
Here's the number that should stop you cold:
According to the Institute for Family Studies' 2026 State of Our Unions report — THREE QUARTERS of women and nearly TWO THIRDS of men surveyed had not dated, or dated only a few times, in the last year.
Only 31% of young adults are active daters at all.
And the number one barrier they cited? Not looks. Not height. Not jawline score.
MONEY. More than half — 52% — said they can't afford to date the way modern dating expects them to.
We are, right now, in what researchers are calling a DATING RECESSION.
And into that vacuum? A new economy has moved in.
Because when the traditional systems break down, people start building new ones.
And some of those new systems look a LOT like commodities trading.
[5 Conversation Starters]
Here are five things worth bringing up:
1. The New York Times reports that Josh Brito, a 33-year-old tech entrepreneur in Washington, D.C., posted a $25,000 bounty on a platform called Bring Me Bae — a matchmaking service where YOUR bounty amount is displayed like a price tag right under your profile photo. He said he worried it might seem "off-putting." But his logic? "If I'm not doing everything possible, then I can't complain about not achieving the results I desire."
2. The Bring Me Bae platform sets a MINIMUM bounty of $10,000. The funds are held in escrow until someone successfully facilitates a match. Blair Anderson, the founder, told the Times: "I began considering ways to make everyone a matchmaker and incentivize them." According to Business Insider, Matchmaking.com reported a 60% client surge between 2020 and 2021, followed by 25% growth in both 2022 and 2023, and another 20% increase through 2025. The premium matchmaking market is projected to nearly double — from $1.2 billion in 2024 to $2.5 billion by 2033, according to Global Dating Insights.
3. An influencer named Dunham markets a "sexual market value calculator" — men score themselves on a 1-to-10 scale across traits including jawline, income, and their position on the social ladder. In a 2024 live video, he evaluated a follower in real time. The guy was 18 years old. Dunham rated him "about a four" — then asked him to remove his shirt for a more precise physical assessment. The New York Times covered this. Not a forum. The TIMES.
4. The SMV concept didn't start in 2024. The Times traces it back through pickup artist culture — Neil Strauss's book "The Game" from 2005 — through Rollo Tomassi, who runs a blog called The Rational Male and shared a graph in 2012 showing men peak in their late 30s while women's appeal "declines precipitously" after 30. That graph has been bouncing around the internet for over a decade. And according to the Times, it's moved from obscure manosphere forums to mainstream conversation.
5. A creator named Braden Peters — who goes by Clavicular — actually researched a $150,000 surgical procedure to add four inches to his height. His reason? To boost his SMV score. He ultimately decided against it. His new reason? Social media popularity had replaced the metric. He told the Times: "I've kind of replaced that metric." Think about that — he replaced the SURGERY with CLOUT.
[Context & Key Insights]
So what's actually going on here?
Because I don't think these guys are stupid. And I don't think they're villains.
I think they're responding LOGICALLY to a system that was already treating them like a product.
Dr. Smith, an assistant professor of communication at Cal State Polytechnic University, Pomona, explained it to the Times this way:
"The apps create a separation between the individual and the image displayed on the screen. When that separation exists, it leads to viewing the person on the screen as a commodity."
Think about that. Tinder did this FIRST.
You were reduced to a photo, a height, and a few interests — and then swiped left or right in under three seconds.
For years. Millions of interactions. Billions of swipes.
At a certain point, it's not a surprise that some men — having been processed through that machine — started asking: okay, what's MY number?
University of Wisconsin-Madison assistant professor Del Barnes told the Times: "These concepts are increasingly manifesting in dating today." She noted that sexual market value, once confined to what she described as misogynistic online forums, is becoming more widespread.
The global dating app market was valued at $11.61 billion in 2025, according to Next Move Strategy Consulting — and is projected to hit $12.52 billion by the end of 2026.
That's an industry built on the premise that YOUR VALUE can be optimized. That with the right subscription, the right photo, the right boost — you become MORE swipeable.
That is — by definition — commodification.
The men pursuing SMV scores didn't invent this logic. They just took it to its natural conclusion.
Now — is that a healthy conclusion? Absolutely not.
Comedian Matt Storrs, who saw the Bidsy ads on the subway, said it best: "Reducing individuals to a monetary figure feels really bleak. It made you view others merely as objects with a price tag."
And that's the real cost here. Not the $25,000 bounty. Not the surgery consultation.
It's what happens to you INSIDE when you start running yourself through a scoring system every morning.
[Practical Takeaway]
So what do you actually DO with this?
First — recognize the trap.
When you start evaluating yourself the way an algorithm evaluates you, you've already lost.
Because you are NOT a stock. You're not a bid. You're not a score between one and ten.
The irony? The guys who ACTUALLY become attractive to the right people — the ones with real options — are usually the ones who stopped caring about the score and started building something real.
Casey Zander, a YouTube influencer with nearly 650,000 subscribers, described what he believes signals high value in a man — and buried in the manosphere language was something that actually made sense:
"He doesn't care what others think of him. Consequently, she perceives that he possesses strength in his own identity."
The self-awareness. The mission. The identity.
That's it. That's what actually works. And none of that costs $25,000.
What builds REAL value — in dating and in life — is doing the work on your physical health, your financial stability, your emotional intelligence, your social skills, and your purpose.
Not because it raises a score. Because it makes you a person worth knowing.
The fitness journey matters. The accountability partner matters. The daily decisions matter.
Not for a calculator. For yourself.
[Audience Reflection]
Here's what I want you to sit with today:
If someone built a calculator that scored your "dating market value" right now —
which number would bother you more:
the one it gave you…
or the fact that you CARED about the number?
Because the men in this story aren't broken. They're just looking for measurable progress in a system that feels chaotic and unfair.
That's a very human thing to do.
The question is whether you're chasing a score…
or building a LIFE.
Those are two very different games. And only one of them has a finish line worth crossing.
[Community Engagement]
I want to hear from you in the comments:
Do you think the commodification of dating — apps, scores, bounties — is making it HARDER for real connection to happen?
Or is this just people being resourceful in a broken system?
Drop your honest take below. No judgment in this house.
And if this hit home — share it with a guy in your life who's been grinding on the apps and feeling like he's invisible.
He needs to hear this conversation.
[Empowering Close]
Look — the dating landscape right now is genuinely difficult.
The apps were supposed to democratize love. Instead they built a $12 billion industry out of human loneliness.
And some men — frustrated, confused, trying to find any lever they can pull — have started treating themselves like commodities to optimize.
I get it. I really do.
But here's what I know: the men who show up fully — present, intentional, grounded in who they actually ARE —
they don't need a bounty posted under their photo.
They don't need a calculator to tell them what they're worth.
And they definitely don't need four inches of surgery.
You want to increase your value? Do the work. Build the life. Show up for the people around you.
That's the morning accountability game. That's what we do here.
Real talk. Every day. Let's go.
[Keyword Integration]
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